


what could have been

by upsettieddiespaghetti



Category: One Piece
Genre: Alcohol, Angst, Feelings, Hurt No Comfort, M/M, No Happy Ending Fest, One-Sided Attraction, Pining, Roronoa Zoro is Bad At Feelings, Unrequited Love
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-10
Updated: 2020-07-10
Packaged: 2021-03-05 05:26:50
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,673
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25189420
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/upsettieddiespaghetti/pseuds/upsettieddiespaghetti
Summary: As the alcohol buzzed in his veins he longed to forget about the man’s piercing eyes. Those eyes were constantly on his mind. Zoro wondered if he ever thought about his eyes.
Relationships: Dracule Mihawk/Roronoa Zoro, Perona & Roronoa Zoro
Comments: 1
Kudos: 27





	what could have been

His feelings were secret, hidden away. Only he could reach them. After all it’s rather easy to keep your feelings to yourself when the person they belong to is nowhere near you. Zoro thought it would be easy to ignore them. He thought that after he had almost died that they would just disappear, but if anything they grew stronger. The urge to have that man in his life was overwhelming.

So instead of trying to come face to face with his feelings, he drowned himself in alcohol. He strained himself training day in and day out. If he wasn’t strong enough then, would he ever be strong enough? That was a question that Zoro didn’t want to answer. He added another weight to his stack and continued on with his training. His arms burned as he continued to push his limits.

Hours later, Zoro was officially overworked. His limbs felt like rubber. All he could bring himself to do was reach for the sake and chug it. The richly flavored liquid left behind an acidic after taste. As the alcohol buzzed in his veins he longed to forget about the man’s piercing eyes. Those eyes were constantly on his mind. Zoro wondered if he ever thought about his eyes.

*

It had been so long since his fight with the man at Baratie. His scar had completely healed over and the fight was nothing more than a memory. Since then he had had countless other fights with so many opponents he could hardly remember who he had fought. After each and everyone of those fights, after Luffy had defeated the boss, Zoro’s mind wandered to Mihawk. He wondered if he thought his attacks were any good. He thought about how Mihawk would tell him to improve upon them. With every new thought of Mihawk he made sure to take another swig of the expensive sake in front of him. It burned going down, but Zoro didn’t mind. Anything was better than thinking about him. He pounded the sake and let an uncomfortable warmth spread through him. His head spun with thoughts of the other swordsman pinning him to the wall and taking the breath out of his lungs. Zoro sank to the floor, the empty bottle of sake still gripped tightly in his hand as he fell into unconsciousness.

*

After Thriller Bark had happened, Zoro’s brain filled with even more thoughts of Mihawk. Even though Chopper had told him multiple times to not overexert himself while training, he needed to be stronger. He had to prove to Mihawk that one day he could beat him. Or maybe he was just training like this to eventually see him again. To tell the man how he felt, to pour out his feelings like sake.

When Zoro came face to face with Kuma again, he didn’t know what was going to happen. He was in the process of sacrificing his life for Luffy, but in the back of his head he couldn’t stop thinking about Mihawk. He’d never get to tell him how he felt, because he was going to die. As Kuma’s hand came swinging down towards him, he couldn’t help but whisper under his breath.

"I love you.” Kuma’s hand came in contact with his chest and Zoro blacked out as he felt himself fly through the air.

When Zoro came too, he was covered head to toe in bandages. He couldn’t move his arms and legs, and when he tried they screamed in protest. His eyes darted around the room he was in. He certainly wasn’t anywhere on the Sunny. At the very least he was in some sort of castle. He turned his head and saw a girl with bright pink ponytails walk in the room carrying some sort of tray. She walked over and when she saw he was awake, she screamed rather loudly, dropped the tray and ran out. Zoro cringed at the loud noises. He wondered for a second if he was dead.

Zoro discovered that the pink haired girl's name was Perona and she too was sent there by Kuma. Apparently they had met already at Thriller Bark, but Zoro had no recollection of this.

“So where are we?” Zoro said. He had recovered from his injuries enough to move around, and they were now walking around the strange island. He had the full intentions of sailing off this island and getting back to the Sabaody Archipelago. Perona was floating slightly above him.

"You act like I know more than you.” She scoffed at him. Zoro rolled his eyes. This chick really was annoying. “Whatever.” He stuck his hands in his pockets and kept walking. Every so often Perona would tell him to turn because he was going the wrong way, but after walking for hours he felt like she was lying.

It was starting to get dark out and Zoro hadn’t even seen a glimpse of the ocean. He looked up and he saw the outline of the castle in the distance. Anger boiled up inside of him. “Have you just been leading me back to the castle this entire time?” He yelled at her. Perona jumped in surprise at his loud voice. Her hands wrapped around her umbrella tightly. “No! You just have no sense of direction!” She huffed and floated away from him. Zoro felt his anger boil up. He pulled his swords out of their sheaths. “Don’t run away from me ghost girl.” Perona peaked out from behind a ruined wall. A well defined pout was on her face. “Don’t call me that!” She stuck her tongue out at him. Zoro was about to send one of his flying slash attacks towards her but figures started gathering a little ways away from where she was hiding. Zoro readied his swords. He thought that he was the only person on the island besides Perona. The figures came out of the shadows and attacked without warning. Zoro didn’t have time to react, and he received a cut on his cheek. Luckily he was able to dodge the remaining attacks before he was killed. He dodged slash after slash and cut after cut. The monkeys were relentless in their attacks, but Zoro did his best to hold them off.

Zoro was exhausted. He had been fighting these monkey’s for hours, holding off their attacks and barely getting any hits in. His arms felt like rubber, but he had to keep going. He needed to keep going if he ever needed to beat Mihawk. Zoro’s chest heaved as he held his swords. Sweat rolled down his face and the countless cuts that littered his body burned. He wasn’t ready to give up just yet.

“Roronoa, I’m surprised to see that you're still alive.” Zoro turned around to see Mihawk sitting atop some ruins. His sword was strapped to his back and all Zoro could focus on was his piercing eyes. They seemed to stare straight into his soul. He felt an unfamiliar shiver run through his body. “Mihawk. How nice to see you again.” Zoro swallowed his feelings like he did his sake. With his eyes trained on Mihawk he was too slow to see the monkey come forward. He felt the sword pierce his flesh like Mihawk’s eyes pierced his soul. Zoro felt blood explode out from his chest. He coughed and fell to his knees. The bandages that were wrapped around his torso split open and turned red with his blood. His swords clattered to the ground. The last thing he saw before his eyes rolled back in his head was Perona approaching with Mihawk not too far behind her.

Zoro’s body felt heavy. He made a move to sit up and his cuts burned. He felt like a mummy, wrapped up in bandages for the second time in the short amount of time he’d been on this island. His body creaked as he swung his legs over the bed. Thoughts of what Mihawk had told him about Luffy ran through his head. He had to get back to Sabaody, to Luffy. However he couldn’t ignore his feelings for Mihawk. Zoro leaned heavily on his swords as he stumbled while walking. He wondered if Kuma had sent him here on purpose. There was no way it could be an accident. Zoro had to stop for a second and rest. He felt like his wounds were going to open up again. He opened a door and stumbled in. Perona instantly started yelling at him to go back to bed.

“You aren’t going to go fight them again are you?” Zoro ignored her and focused on the man in front of him. “Hawkeye.” Zoro said, as he walked closer he leaned heavily on his swords. “Give it a rest already you can barely walk!” Perona’s voice pitched up an octave if that was even possible.

“You're badly wounded, stay here. What’s the rush?” The words tumbled out of Mihawk’s mouth. Zoro was slightly taken aback by them. He hadn’t expected the other to care for him. He blinked and he remembered why he got up. “Did you forget? You told me what happened to my captain,” Zoro leaned on his swords still, “He’s alright, right? Can you tell me anything else?” Mihawk stared blankly at him. “That's all I know.” Zoro exhaled and made a move to turn around. “I’ll leave you be then.” Using his swords as a crutch he made his way to the door. Before he made it out, Perona yelled at him. “How do you expect to get to the ocean without those baboons killing you? And how are you going to sail across the ocean?” Zoro paused. He hadn’t thought that through. “I’ll figure something out.” He made a move to keep going, but Mihawk spoke up. “You can find a boat if you go around the west side of the castle.” He barely even looked up from his paper. Zoro’s heart fluttered, but right now he needed to focus on Luffy. He cleared his throat and straightened up as much as he could. “Thanks for that.” He finally exited the room. Perona yelled after him but he didn’t bother to stick around and listen to what she had to say.

Zoro wandered around for a while before he found the boat. He grabbed the rope it was attached to and pulled the boat towards where he thought the ocean was. As he walked his head spun with Luffy and Mihawk. On the one hand, he needed to get back to Sabaody to be there for Luffy, but he was finally at Mihawk’s castle. The man literally from his dreams was within his reach. He didn’t need to drown his feelings for him with sake anymore, because he was right there.

Zoro took a step but the monkey’s stopped him in his tracks. He frowned. Zoro readied his swords. These monkeys were proving to be a giant pain in the ass. He was able to dodge the first attack. However there was something familiar about the way the monkeys were attacking him. He jumped backwards and realized they were using his own attacks against him. Zoro grimaced. It would be difficult to preform any sort of counterattack. Regardless of that, Zoro was determined to do his best. He would get off the island and back to Sabaody. Mihawk would see how much stronger he had become.

Suddenly Zoro was up in the air with the boat. Apparently one of the monkeys had copied his dragon twister. Zoro threw one back at the ground to neutralize the attack. He and the boat came hustling towards the ground. Unlike the boat, Zoro was able to keep himself from being broken into a thousand pieces. Zoro frowned as his only ticket out of here splintered upon contact. There was no way he’d be able to make it back to Sabaody now.

“Looks like that boat won’t be off much use anymore.” Zoro turned around and saw Mihawk spring upon the tree tomb. Zoro exhaled forcefully.  
“Well then ill just swim there and hold onto the planks.” Mihawk chuckled. It was a dry sound. “You’ll never make it there that way. Why don’t you come back to the castle? The monkeys won’t come near it.” Zoro felt his heart pang. Was there a chance that Mihawk has the same feelings he did? Zoro frowned. Why did they have to reunite under these circumstances? He shook his head. “You cant tell me what to do. Im setting out to sea right now!” He hefted his swords back up. Mihawk shrugged. “Suit yourself.” Zoro took his eyes off Mihawk and returned to the monkeys. He was determined to defeat them. He had to if he ever wanted to see Luffy and the others ever again.

After Zoro received Luffy's message, he found that he was able to defeat the monkeys rather quickly. It wasn’t easy but he did it. When the last one fell to the ground, he sheathed his swords with a sense of pride. He eagerly made his way back to the castle. He had defeated every last monkey. A wave of pride washed over him. What would Mihawk think of him now? His hand drifted up to his earrings and he nervously pulled on one. For a second his mind wandered and he imagined it was Mihawk taking the earring into his mouth. Zoro shook his head. He couldn’t let his feelings get the best of him now. He stopped in front of a door and took a deep breath. It was now or never. Zoro pushed the door open and walked in. Mihawk looked up from his paper.

“Do you need something?” A bead of sweat rolled down his forehead. One of the bandages around his neck caught it. Zoro stood in front of Mihawk and stared into his bright yellow eyes.

“Will you train me for the next two years? And teach me everything you know?” Mihawk turned his page. “Why?” Zoro let a slight frown appear on his face. “So I can help Luffy become the King of the Pirates and surpass you one day.” Zoro tried to keep his heart from racing. Mihawk was even more gorgeous up close. At this Mihawk laughed. Zoro stepped back slightly. He hadn’t expected this kind of reaction from the man. When Mihawk’s laughter subsided, he finally responded. “You certainly are a strange one Roronoa.” Zoro felt his cheeks heat up, and he mentally cursed himself. Right now was one of the worst times to start blushing.

“Alright. Once your injuries have healed, I’ll train you.” Zoro felt a smile grow on his face. He could feel everything he felt for Mihawk well up inside him and spill over. He couldn’t hold it in anymore.

Suddenly, his mouth was on Mihawk’s. Passion and lust blinded him as he locked lips with the other swordsman. Everything faded away into nothingness. All that mattered was that he was here with Mihawk at this moment.

Then just like that the moment was over. Mihawk pushed him away. He gripped his shoulders tight. Grey eyes met piercing yellow ones and Zoro swallowed thickly.

“Roronoa, I cannot be your mentor and your lover,” Zoro felt his heart crack, “You have to focus on the goal of defeating me. You chose this path and you’ll walk it. Do I make myself clear?” Zoro nodded. He was too overcome with emotion to respond with words. Mihawk let his hands fall away from his shoulders.The other swordsman turned away from him. “Good. Now go rest. I won’t start training you until all of your injuries have healed up. I’ll see you later Roronoa.” Zoro did his best to keep his heart from shattering in front of Mihawk. He walked to the door and just before he left he turned back around. His eyes landed on the man nursing a glass of wine. He wondered if under different circumstances this would have ended differently.


End file.
